I’m actually so happy she gave a specific number for how much she weights. I know the number isn’t supposed to matter, and two people who weigh the same thing can look very different, but I feel like I’m constantly hearing about women who weigh 135 and want to lose 5 or 10 more lbs and it makes me sick. I just saw Amy…

This is exactly why I don’t play professional hockey. That and my inability to ice skate.

Krang’s body come to life.

Hmmm...hardly recognized him. Incognito indeed.

Deflating balls > Punching women in the fucking face. On god damn camera, no less.

more like roger badell.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

I'm a Pats fan but I gotta respect that quality hate.

I’d stop the Patriots from taking Tom Brady. Fuck ‘em.

“You wanna know what NFL pick I’d do over? Jeez, there are so many to choose from... probably that one against the Saints in the NFC Championship game?” -Brett Favre

Here’s my theory: You ever play a Madden season mode and say “Fuck it, let’s sign this guy and improve his rating bu having him put up god-like stats on Rookie mode”. That’s what Chip Kelly is trying to do, but in real life.

I actually, as a New Yorker, can’t assume that Tebow sucks as badly as everyone seems to. I mean, the dude got royally screwed in his time with the Jets. To completely screw with two QBs heads in one year was an impressive feat...but unfortunately this guy was young, and it definitely derailed him.

I think it’s entirely possible that Kelly will do a Chip Kelly Thing and institute a 2-QB package using Tebow as a mutant H-back with a throwing option.

Which 5-Hour Energy flavor did he drink before this so I can know to avoid that one

I had the same problem as Tim. One brother and one best man both with a claim to the best man position. I picked my Father as the best man. Boom, problem solved! No one can argue with that selection.

loaves of bread for pillows and flour tortillas for blankets

I chose my best friend from college over my half-brother (which is different because I haven't had a constant relationship with him, like you guys do with your brothers) and everyone seemed to be cool with the explanation that I gave when I said my friend was there through thick and thin of the most important 4 years…

Plus you can shove the tortillas up your ass.

Okay, after thinking about this I can think of 2 scenarios that could work: