Why Do So Many Goddamn Sportswriters Watch The Bachelor?

If there’s one thing I know about old sportswriters, it’s that they love Bruce Springsteen. HURRRRR WELL DURRRRR ME AND SALLY WE COULDA MADE IT BUT THEN I LOST MY UNION CARD BRRRRGHH.
What Is The Worst Bodily Fluid To Clean Up?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering spilled beer, stairs, food names, and more.
Crackers, Ranked
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering Shel Silverstein, NHL game delays, soup inflation, and more.
Who Lasts Longer: Donald Trump Or Tom Brady?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering grilled cheese, teleportation, tortillas, bad smells, and more
What Is The Best Age To Have Children?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering double parking, cutting pizza, car seat design, and more.
Shelled Vs. Unshelled Peanuts... Who Ya Got?!
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering shaving for old man noises, poop hoses, phone alerts, and more.
I Bought A Fake Christmas Tree Because I’m Not A Deluded Simpleton
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering the Chargers, Christmas gifts, seasonal porn, and more.
Is Male Shirtlessness On The Decline?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering shaving for weddings, the Browns, bad sandwiches, and more.
The Restoration Hardware Catalog Intro Letter Is Lofty And Insane
We already goofed on this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog, but plenty of readers have alerted me to the fact that, on an annual basis, the Restoration Hardware catalog is a far more insane enterprise. And they’re right. It’s bigger, more pretentious, more expensive, and has way more useless crap. This year’s RH catalog…
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers lined up along the…
A Fail-Safe Guide To Your Kid’s Christmas Pageant
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering ice cubes, spitting, the college football playoff, and more.