I’m too angry to even find an appropriate rage gif.

Her statement is amazing. I don’t know that I could’ve written something so moving and eloquent in her position. And that he kept saying it was consensual and that she was awake and blaming it all on alcohol? She must've wanted to kill him listening to all that.

She utterly savaged him. Her takedown of him was every inch an unyielding brutality that aimed to turn his ego into a fine mist.

When you waive your client’s appearance to a bail hearing then don’t tell him he can get out for a dollar, that does seem like the answer.

I hate that no one will see this because it’ll be buried, but I just watched the episode and noticed that LuAnn has Bethenny’s name misspelled in her phone as “Bethany.” I find this hysterical.

I don’t see Grey Gardens when I think of Sonja and Luann, but, I do see Edina and Patsy from AbFab.

My absolute favorite part of the show:

This was seriously the most entertaining episode of any RH franchise ever in history. I laughed out loud like ten times, I loved Jules weighing her distress about her dying father against Luann’s distress about being called a slut. “Okay fine let’s talk about how you’re a slut, that’s a compliment.”

I also laughed at…

“I made it NICE”!!! So New York Italian - loved it.

“It’s very rare that someone is involved in a homicide case with someone they just had a baby with. It’s very early to make a conclusion as to what the cause, intent, motive and facts were to this unfortunate tragedy.”

I’ll probably get shit for pulling this out of the gray BUT:

Security guards on the Depp payroll, I'm assuming. Okay.

Yea I’m loving Andy right now. The people who are all “but even the cops didn’t see bruises” don’t understand that a bruise doesn’t appear right away, it usually appears hours later and sometimes takes up to a day to appear, these people need to go away.... I work with a lot of them... and this is all I have been…

I love it when guys defend other guys by talking about *their* own friendship as evidence for why the guy must not have beaten his female partner. It’s like white guys saying “my white friend has always been great to me, there’s no way he’s racist!!”

YOU ALL GOT YOUR GD DIRT BAG

I don’t think it’s that big a concern. Most of these are single serving (juice boxes, v8 cans, water bottles), so if he didn’t drink they they would probably end up taken back to the dorm by some UGA student volunteer who cleaned up or moved to the tour van. I also assume this list is for his whole group/entourage,…

Few things in his professional life have bothered him more than providing a box of condoms and a couple of bottles of booze as part of concert rider? This is one of the things that vexes him the most in a long career in college athletics? He must have led a pretty amazingly drama-free life up to this point.

Off-topic: Life can be depressing. However, I have discovered that there is a live walrus cam you can watch every day this summer.

The first thing I thought of when I saw that pic was that episode of Golden Girls he was in. He played Dorothy’s favorite student Mario- who got deported after his essay about loving America was printed in the local paper.

I am tempted to push my index finger into Mario Lopez’s dimple and not stop until I hit brain.