Touré: [makes himself a sad little birthday cake]

I'm judging Mourinho on his own criteria: No titles, no attention.

Put a beet and a copy of battlestar galactica in there and that bear would have been caught.

When I hear someone yell "spider," I can't help but chime in "…pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does." Sometimes it flummoxes people long enough for the little critter to make an escape.

That's what I do everyday here, me and my other burner account.

I was primarily teasing Greg about his Premier League prognosticating... but yeah, it's all but over. Only thing that might make it fun is if West Ham can score first. And Liverpool wouldn't have to worry about goal difference if City lose and they win. Remember the last time City had the title on their racquet but…

We get it! You played semi-pro basketball!!

Barkley was 6'6 in high heels. 6'4 in sneakers, which makes his rebounding even more remarkable.

This video is fake. There's no way that guy can fit into a sports car.

that was the joke

Poor Fontana, my grandma lived there in the 80s, and it's been steadily downhill from there...

My parents took my sister and I to the circus a couple of times, but recently told us as adults that they used to pretend the intermission meant the show was over and made us leave because it was so depressing.

Explanation does not equal exculpation. Watch that maniac's YouTube video and you'll understand. He's out of his fucking mind. At the end of the day, the criminal justice system should be about public safety rather than retribution, so rather than assigning blame/identifying culpability, we should focus on figuring…

Vin Scully could do play-by-play of a sex tape and make it sound classy.

Nope.

Taaaaaake oooooooonnn meeeeeeee!

That second gif is everything.

seriously, I had to watch the video a few times just to remember which felled player turned into the maniac.

Thats how I play Battlefield 4 weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Psst... Look at his username... Just saying.