I need a highly personalized version of Google directions. Instead of “go 1.3 miles and turn north onto E. Bumblefuck Blvd” it would say “go past that house with the weird lawn sculpture, you know, the one of a gnome riding a deer, then continue driving for the duration of one segment of “Wait, Wait.” Your destination…
Timetomakethedonuts
donutsvsmuffins
In my experience, when someone has to tell you how smart they are, they usually are not that smart.
Because he probably did. Always look for the simple answer and save the headache.
If you need to leave a boring business meeting, shit your pants. #lifehack
“Suicide is tragic enough, but it’s particularly bewildering when young people who appear to have it all take their own lives.”
I just want to point out that even back then, when I was a bitchy highschooler watching the ceremony from my parents’ couch, I thought that wedding dress was FUGLY. It looked like she was wearing an ivory silk Hefty bag! That dress isn’t simply dated - it was not attractive even then. Kate then-Middleton’s dress is SO…
Thirded.
Third. A Menominee woman.
Seconded.
Kimberly,
If Tony’s letter ran along the lines of ‘Hey, I’m finding going into middle age hard and I kinda worry about feeling irrelevant or ignored or no longer part of a world I previously understood’, I’d feel a lot more sympathy for him because I am told that the aging process is/can be fucking rough and it’s hard to…
Dear Tony,
The whole movie? IT RUINED MY LIFE!!!! (actually, no, it didn’t, but I’m trying to out-dramaticize you. I’m winning, ‘cos I have more exclamation points AND CAPS)
That’s not true! I just re-read all damned 1037 pages a couple months ago, and: no. It’s very much like in the book.
I was 12. Mother Nature had felt it entirely necessary to not only stunt my growth at “stumpy” but to foist my first period, acne, glasses, braces, perpetually oily hair AND huge boobs on me all at once. I was a walking nightmare. Mom, the nicest person in the world gently says “I think that top might be too low cut…
A small working theatre, that I could afford to rent out for peanuts to small amateur and indie groups who lack the funds, resources and connections to mount plays and shows on their own. People who work with big or professional groups and are already part of the “in” crowd would not be eligible to apply to hire it.…
I want a huge library with more books than I could ever read, with a wheeled ladder and everything. There would be a huge window to let in plenty of natural light, plants hanging from the ceiling, and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves.
There would be kids’ books on the bottom shelves and the nice, bound ones up high, and I…
Huh,
It’s not shake.
If they had tried to do that with a cat, it would just be a video of the cat licking its crotch.