I once spent 20 minutes driving around with my mother looking for a grocery story that she remembered from 2 years before, her only direction, “it had a red sign on the side”.
Timetomakethedonuts
donutsvsmuffins
I’m sorry Megyn, but I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
I had an ex who was a Mensa member, somehow it always came up in every conversation with a new person...
And I’ve waited 30+ years to ask why the Hell she didn’t so anything with her hair. Brushed it, put on the tiara and done. Were all the good stylists booked that day?
I think I made a huge mistake...
I can’t do screenshots but this was a Yelp review and I laughed hard.
Make sure you bring Mittens....
I wonder what is worst: that it is a genuine headdress or someone from wardrobe peiced one together from several random ones.
I had the food problem with a previous roommate. I hid my food in my locked room. And every time he ate something that he was told was not his to eat I made him pay for it on the spot, even it was a dollar or two. After the tenth time, hearing “I didn’t know it was yours”, doesn’t cut it. If you don’t know who it…
I love this character even more now. He made the movie for me. As a beginner guitar player, he is an inspiration. This was freaking hilarious.
Both sides of that coin, I worked with a disabled person who used it as an excuse to be lazy and was a douche as well, no one liked him. Had another disabled co-worker who worked twice as hard as anyone else and was fun to be around.
Can I say that older men like me? I’m talking 60 plus. I didn’t mind so much when I was younger but now I think they are looking for a nurse and/or caretaker.
My last roommate decided one day that she was a vegan. Because the guy she wanted to f*ck was a vegan. So she became a self-righteous vegan two days after eating a pepperoni pizza. Got rid of all her non vegan food and starting preaching the virtues while still trying to screw her target. I’m a baker and an early…
Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking...
You don’t need to gain weight. I went and spent every day walking around and it compensated for having creme brule with every meal.
Nothing like adding your lock to a pile of a million of them to show the world how special and unique your love is.
Don’t they only need just one of them now?
Get that Devil stick away from my family, you whore of Babylon!
I would have a goat because the goat would make goat noises all through the ceremony and everyone is thinking, who the Hell has a goat at their wedding?
Sad schadenfreude....