I'm beginning to think that Zack Snyder is maybe just not very smart

Some kids tried and mostly failed to put together a monkey statue whilst avoiding grown men in generic tribal get up who lunged at them from shadowy corners. The end.

IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM

Maybe it's both, like Godfather II! Except, you know, bad.

Macadamia nut

"Dennis Rodman’s Big Bang in Pyongyang"

Actually Fred Willard in that character trying to commentate on the events of 2001 as they happened would be a pretty good movie.

They killed Killer, yo!

Are you saying here that Spielberg is going to be extra motivated to try and make a better movie than Mad Max, or are you suggesting that Spielberg is going to hunt down and straight-up murder George Miller and everyone else who worked on Mad Max?

THEIR TREASURE WAS KNOWLEDGE

Indiana goes back to where the grail is held, climbs down into the pit to get it, drinks from it, and the movie ends with his now younger self singing on to a movie called Star Wars under the alias "Harrison Ford."

This court finds in favor of…

(Quimby voice) Can't we have one AV Club article that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?

"It's so weird running into you guys here!"
"Yeah, well we live here so…"

Heh, heh. Clowns are funny.

The whole "Ooh! It's a picture of New York!" section really does add something to it

We love Candor, it's the best faction. Very classy faction. Little Erudite is very weak. Just a sad faction. Amateur hour.

"We have to give them back!"
"We don't actually have them!"

OBUMMER is a common one

Trouble at the stables? This looks like a job for… SUUUUUUPER MAAAARE