Aw, shucky-ducky!

Allahu Akbar, normie.

I hope he reviews Dumb Starbucks this season.

"There are billions of dollars tied up in the idea of parity, and the Patriots are defying it. They aren’t in because they tinkered with some footballs."

Nah, it's all determined by blind taste test.

Don't tell him that his barn door's open.

Pfft, I listened in 1994, loser.

Get with the times. It's all about Bone Eye-ver.

My favorite message movie from that time was The Forgotten, the subtext of which was, "How can you vote for these ass clowns again after all the shit they did these past four years? Did aliens wipe your memory or something?"

The message that jet fuel can melt steel beams? It can't, sheeple, it can't.

Who's finger's?

Sex, Lies, And Videotape 2: Ultron Top Of You

You're fingers!

Or they can use that Kazakhstan one.

This is nice and feminist and all, but based on the discussions in some of the other Newswires today we just want to talk about Alexandra Daddario's mammary-o's.

Where does Touched By An Angel fit into all of this?

That song sucks.

Ulna have nae more o' these puns.

Ewbs.

Ike's penis is a flat tuber.