So the harder I press on the buttons, the more rapid the strokes will be? Will the horny custom maid be like...in the room? What do you suppose your shame level has to be in order to play this while your girlfriend's in the same house?

I cared at first. Then I just stopped caring. Everything got better for her AND for me.

The crap some people have to go through....It's never easy.

I've been trying to quit for the last ten years. Now's my chance!

Pretty places where people come to pork and get away from their spouses. A lot of them too. Makes you wonder about integrity nowadays.

Before you sexist asses start stamping the fake gamer girl sticker on her or bash her as yet another bimbo looking for attention, just watch the video. She's genuinely funny and isn't afraid to look dorky. You go, girl!

God damn, she's cute! Didn't even notice the cicadas.

I was six years old in '93, when my divorced dad got me an NES in the form of a chinese clone. The "Terminator 8", it was called. Came with 2 controllers and a 99 in 1 yellow cartridge. It was raining outside and I was bored out of my mind. The joy that came over me playing stuff like Circus and Excitebike on my black…

Jesus Christ, I remember running into this guy right in the middle of the freaking wasteland. He was just standing there with his creepy ass mask as I freaked out. Killed him on my first playthrough right then and there, not knowing he was important to the story. On my second save file, I met him and we talked a lot…

And there's NOTHING you can do against the ones that are yellowed from the sun. As a smoker, and again, speaking from a smoker's perspective, the consoles yellowed by cigarette smoke over the years can be cleaned with the spray foam I mentioned. Excuse me if I was WAY off topic.

I noticed this trend in Japan over the years. God bless their thriving economy!

The foam works as a mildly corrosive substance, destroying all dirt, while leaving the plastic intact. It works great for windows, plastic, BUT is mostly used for cleaning tapestry. Here is a sample image from one producer:

I should have mentioned that the industrial grade foam I'm talking about, which is found in most auto cosmetics and repair shops, goes for around 30$. I took one tube from work a few years back to clean my SNES and NES lots. Still have the tube, so it's a pretty good bang for your buck. Alas, I don't know who would…

Actually the yellow ones have been exposed to cigarette smoke and other kinds of toxic gunk for years on end. They can be easily cleaned though, and for cheap.

The yellow ones can be easily made just as "new" with a type of car window cleaning foam. Just spray it on the console, leave it on for 10 minutes and you got a shiny "new" Famicom.

As a former console collector, 76$ for each give or take is way too overpriced, considering from this picture that you only get the console, and no accessories are mentioned. You can easily get a hold of a Famicom in excellent working condition, accessories included, for just under 50$.

Alright, dear Mrs. Patricia...Burlesque called and it wants its authenticity back.

Came for the boobs.

MAKE THIS HAPPEN...or else...

That's cool and all. Now bring forth the Men Idling At A Construction Site Anime.