Re. the three years old thing: there’s lots of random Tweets today connecting Nipsey Hussle to this quack, hence somebody must have figured it made sense to put this up top. 

“At least three children spoke of being locked in the closet, which doubled as a “green-screen room” for filming and adding special effects.”

“($10/day, per person who stayed)“

The biggest problem is that the game itself is pretty slow AND if your favorite player is a position player you get to see him bat maybe 4 times per game. If your favorite player is Tom Brady you see him on literally every play when the team has the ball. If your favorite player is Mike Trout you see him 4 times per…

Pretty much the only time I have to call an employee over are (a) to have my ID checked for buying booze, or (b) I bought a miniscule amount of some spice in the bulk section and the weight is non-detectable. 

Can we make it a new national law that people who let their 5 year old kid try to scan stuff in the self checkout lane because it’s “cute” are the worst, and should be forcibly sterilized. 

I mean, it’s got some natural synergy with the pre-existing “infanticide” messaging, so...

“ I suspect in this case the motivation may have been a catastrophic trigger, such as a massive disaster or environmental strain, that called for a commensurately radical ritual sacrifice to address.”

Don’t forget the part about how a woman has to bring her sheets out after her first night as a married woman so her husband and her father can inspect them to make sure she bled the correct amount, meaning she was indeed a virgin. If she didn’t, they are allowed to stone her for her impurity. 

“We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families.”

“ moderators in the Phoenix office dealt with the hellish reality of their jobs by having sex in the office—in stairwells, bathrooms, parking garages, and a lactation room—smoking weed on breaks, and joking about suicide.”

Google “ruptured Achilles tendon comeback”

Well, let’s be fair, it says “under 12,000.” And 254 people is definitely under 12,000, so the math checks out. 

Not saying it’s proof she’s smart, but you calling her a “29 year old bartender” when she’s actually a member of Congress is proof that you’re a misogynist.

She’s a member of Congress, fucko. 

A straight dude saying he doesn’t think his church discriminates against gay people because he hasn’t been discriminated against is like a guy saying that he doesn’t believe one of his male friends could sexually harass a woman because he hasn’t harassed him.

Meghan McCain spoke in Portland at Reed College a few years ago, and I have never seen someone less prepared for the slightest disagreement or followup question in my life. It was pretty unreal—the slightest murmur or “wait, hold up” from the students and she looked like she wanted to run off stage. My theory is that…

See, I think they’d be the perfect fit in Stockton. Or Merced. Or any other central valley city that is basically a shitty city’s especially shitty sister city. 

“ I’ve worked my ass off for everything I’ve got, and I willingly give of myself to my community, and to those in need, including three young black boys who played basketball on my son’s team, two of whom had fathers in prison.”

“That’s ascribing human characteristics on wild animals, which is anthropomorphism.”