My name is Dave, and I’m a guitar hoarder.

You don’t get to choose which parts of your past are remembered.

For those of you clamoring for the autographs of both a serial killer and a Baseball Hall of Famer, here’s a way to, well, kill two birds with one stone. You can buy this “original acrylic painting of an Oriole by John Wayne Gacy, which prominently features the autograph of Cal Ripken Jr.” for $9,999.95.

There’s an arms race of sorts now taking place in sports arenas. Hence, the Quad.

Nobody gives a damn about the 2019 Preakness Stakes.

Horse racing had replay before everybody else. But that side of the allegedly perpetually declining sport was never in the spotlight so much as it was Saturday, when Churchill Downs stewards took their time before taking a Kentucky Derby win away from Maximum Security on a foul claim.

The bizarre high school basketball career of Jimmy Sorunke, who went from an overhyped freshman to an ignored senior in just one year, appears to now be over.

Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl have put their heads together and made an ass of themselves yet again. The Goofus and Goofus of right-wing outrage added to their overstuffed portfolio of unnecessary and unwanted press conferences with a soft-hitting expose on corruption in the college recruiting realm.

American icon Andrew Young was in Austin last night opening a Summit on Race at the LBJ Library.

The Washington Post released its final rankings for the 2018-2019 high school basketball season earlier this week. DeMatha, a school with perhaps the most storied program in the country, ended up in the top spot in the historically hoops-crazy D.C. region for what was officially the 28th time.

On February 11, Deadline.com reported that Corey Maggette had been taken off the air by Fox Sports West, where he works as a commentator for Los Angeles Clippers games.

Adrian Dantley just refereed my son Eddie’s rec league game. An NBA all-timer and maybe the best little big man in the history of the game, working a weeknight seventh-grade playoff at D.C.’s Jelleff Recreation Center.

King Kong Bundy, the biggest man I ever saw undressed, is dead. He was 61. No official cause of death has yet been issued.

James Arthur Ray put out a promotional video advising why folks desperate to improve their lot in life should seek counsel from him and others toiling in the charlatan-rich self-help field rather than try to go it alone.

Skip Groff has gone the way of the neighborhood record store. He’s dead.

I’ve carried a grudge against Frank Robinson for 49 years.

I was born and reared in Virginia and still hold fondness for the state as often as it embarrasses me and anybody who claims it. Times like these. That blackface/klansman photo that will end up getting the governor bounced was in a yearbook, after all, from a state school.

The two greatest days in Dan Snyder’s life are the day he buys a boat, and the day he buys a bigger boat.

Robert “Colonel Rob” Schaffner, an L.A. outsider art deity and the guy who got Heavy Metal Parking Lot to whatever masses it got to, is dead.

Washington defensive lineman Jonathan Allen gave out doughnuts to sick kids in D.C. today. The treats came with a photo of him alongside the words “We Hail!” Allen probably should’ve checked with his boss.