Actually I’ll take The Spy Who Shagged Me by a hair over the original Austin Powers - some things don’t work but Mini-Me and Fat Bastard are enough to give it the win. Goldmember was flipping horrible though, as was Wayne’s World 2.

It’s really annoying that women have been saying this exact thing since the inception of Bust magazine in the 90's, but nobody listened or thought it was funny until a guy said it on SNL in 2017.

Wayne’s World 2 is fucking garbage.

Counterpoint: Clerks 2 fucking sucks.

My students love making fun of Trump. I’m surprised that none of the kids attempted to talk smack to him (and also relieved because I don’t think Trump’s ego can handle the wicked burn only a child can deliver). My five year old already calls him “the bad man” when he sees him on tv.

It’s the Welfare Queen thing all over again, really. If a system is not 100% perfect in using taxpayer money and there are non-virtuous individuals using government programs, the programs themselves are clearly not worth it and should be scrapped. I mean, who cares if a program is 99% successful; if that 1% is wasting …

At the time I signed up for Obamacare, I had an iPhone. It was an older model, and it was my ONLY way to communicate with people, find and apply for jobs, and keep up with the news. I couldn’t afford internet at home. Fuck you Chaffetz. Fuck you.

$600,000. Six-hundred thousand dollars. That’s how much it cost my uninsured then-future-husband when he was run over by a truck and spent two months in the trauma ICU. The driver that caused the accident was only insured up to $250,000.

Or to put it another way,

The last medical statement I got was for $500 for one procedure. As long as I don’t need any other medical care for the next two years, his analogy totally works.

Chaffetz talks about low-income Americans like they are bratty 10-year-old suburban teens addicted to playing Candy Crush, which I guess explains a lot about why this plan is so bad for them.

You can’t unplug my ventilator I never bought an iPhone!

rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on, maybe they should invest it in their own healthcare.

Al: Where were you the night the victim died?

And tax credits exclusively for men!

It’s also so Paul Ryan can have a clean conscience and say he tried his best when he’s jacking off to nude pictures of Ayn Rand.

It is so maddening that a tax credit is supposed to help pay for things. I make so little a tax credit will do zero to help me. It’s such a privileged political ploy.

Death sentence for the poor, but, hey, at least there’s a tax cut for the rich, so it’s aaaaaaaaaaaall good.