He had some friends, but not many of them are white, so Nickelodeon got cold feet.

Just like when my past co-writer said "it's a little dark" about my play inspired by his life. "It's about the time you had bone cancer," I told him. His reply: "Bone cancer, not existential bleakness!"

She's Hanukkah Harry, the Mensch on the Bench!

There's an urban legend that the bulb at the top of the flagpole contains kerosene, matches and a suicide pill, so that the last living American in a conquered base can burn the flag before the enemy can get to it, then execute himself for the crime of "necessary desecration of the flag."

And lo, the prophet Fluttershy did appear in the desert without context, speaking words of doom that they might repent and have the slightest chance of being saved.

Better homophonic than homeopathic.

You want the pitch? Here goes nothing… Do keep in mind, I've taken a few liberties.

One of my co-writers has only two playlists on his iPhone.

I think there's something to the stereotype that when it comes to sexuality, gay men only trust gay men. Lesbians are seen as trendy, bisexuals are seen as gays in denial, even straight men are often seen as compensating for something. And anything in the queer umbrella that falls after "LG" is just seen as dubious at…

I think we all have our musical fancy that no one else can appreciate. I really like Oingo Boingo, and have since middle school, but anyone I play it for always says either "this music is shit," or "why are all their songs about rape?" (It's ironic, I hope.)

Ahem, niche ABSENCE of perversion.

Right, okay, hmm. (takes notes, faxes new Act 1 song prompt to composer)

Well, tonight, thank gawd it's Them, instead of Youuuuuu!

Is Archie known in Japan at all? I wondered how much Jughead's character (minus his asexuality/misogyny) informed Brock on Pokémon, who is similar in demeanor and wit, maintains closed eyes 95% of the time, and has a passion for cooking.

*Putter flickers briefly into corporeal existence, disintegrates again*

But you have such great role models and inspirations! Edward Gorey! And… Boy George maybe! And… Zacherley?

He has a serious case of Andrew Rannells Face.

Well, really, on this day we are all Jugheads. Ich bin ein Tureng.

These violent delights have violent ends.

I'm not sure it's so much an elaborate sleight of hand: if that was a fake-out, it's intentional, because we are being "unlocked" in stages like Dolores is.