Dennis Lee
Staff writer at The Takeout. Also: Saveur Humor Blog Award Winner, professional pizza maker, and insufferable troublemaker.

I think Marnie (my editor!) had some of the creme by itself. I am assuming on your behalf that you probably wanted to know if she tasted the cookie part in the creme, yes? Read more

They probably do. Soju nights sound wild (I’ve never gone drinking in Korea). Koreans crush soju like nobody’s business and the mayhem you’d expect does indeed ensue. Read more

I hate that I know exactly what you’re talking about. But on the flipside, if I had to guess, that squirminess means they used less plastic which is better for the environment? (I can be optimistic, right?) Read more

I was just about to proudly respond to you with the same map, which I don’t think I’ve written about yet. My fiancee’s brother scored some using the map, and I believe he got a bundle to freeze up and enjoy later. Read more

You’re totally right. I corrected this, because that was not what I’d meant. (A tired Dennis is an inaccurate one.) Read more

You and the other commenter who mentioned this are correct. I knew this too, but apparently I was pretty tired when I wrote this! Read more

Not Elkhart Lake, either! Also what’s the Sheboygan RPG? Read more

Nope! Coming out of the shadows for once to comment. Kiel isn’t too far away, though... Read more

Hey hey! I like the Impossible better. It’s slightly less dense and there’s no pea or plant proteiny flavor to it, while the Beyond definitely has a slight aftertaste. Read more

The episode recently came out and is only available in a very limited fashion, so I didn’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet. Always kinda stinks when someone says what happens too early, at least for me! Read more

It’s such a bizarre idea that we have to ask people to... be reasonable, right?! Apparently they’re not getting the memo! Read more

Shhh they are almost always in Witness Protection. Scorpion and Sub-Zero will attack them (it’s happened)! If they hear you talking about the gang they will go on the prowl. Read more

We are based in Chicago (downtown, in fact!). But uh...the nearest Gordon’s is in Elmwood Park. The restaurant supply store I go to (Jetro) is much, much, closer.  Read more

Yes. The crushed tomatoes you can get are out of this world and those are only available via restaurant store in giant cans! Read more

I am from the restaurant industry but I was a pizzamaker (and still take shifts occasionally). Not a lot of mayo in pizza, the last time I checked, so I didn’t reach for it professionally much aside from making finishing sauces now and then. Read more

They’re on there! All huddled up in the middle. I wanted to find one that wasn’t covered in ranch, but they were too messy to fish out. You’ll have to believe me on this one. Read more

Yeah, I admitted I sounded grouchy about them (and thank you for continuing to read my stuff closely enough to notice details, that makes me really happy). These taste tests are just my silly opinion, and you’ll have to trust me when I say these things were just no good. Dry chicken that gets really tacky when you Read more