The Full Story of the White Woman Arrested for Petting a Black Woman’s Dog Is Even Wilder (and Whiter) Than You Think

As I noted yesterday, Becky With the Bold Hands went through the entire gamut of aggrieved white weaponry when she was detained by police officers for attempting to pet a black woman’s dog without permission. Tears, kicks, threats, panic attacks smoothly transitioning into lucid vulgarities—it was like watching…

Becky With the Bold Hands: White Woman Arrested for Attempting to Pet Black Woman’s Dog Without Permission

On the list of “Headlines I’ve always wished to write but assumed I’d never have the chance to,” “White Person Arrested for Petting a Black Person’s Dog Without Permission” might actually be No. 1, narrowly beating “Zimmerman Stampeded in Pamplona; Remains Yet to Be Found” and “Reparations Approved by Congress on One…

Is It Safe to Admit I’m Just Happy It’s the White Side of Meghan Markle’s Family Acting a Damn Fool?

The royal wedding is happening at some point this week. I haven’t been following the news blow by blow, but I know enough to know the main characters. Meghan Markle (who I enjoyed on Suits) is marrying Prince Harry (who is a prince). They look nice together in pictures, like the cover models for a pamphlet about a new…

If You’re Still Mad That People Didn’t Want You in High School, I Get It, but Please (for Your Own Sake) Get Over It

If you happened to be a teenager in 1996, and if you were a teenager who also happened to be black, there is a moderate to strong likelihood that you have a soft spot in your heart for the Ghost Town DJs. If this describes you and you heard Virgo Williams’ 18-word-long a cappella soothe through the speakers while you…

The Dumbest (and Most Common) Argument for Why Michael Jordan, Not LeBron James, Is the Greatest Basketball Player Ever

“Don’t be a prisoner of the moment!” said the person on the internet, who is 36 years old, about the reaction to LeBron James’ theatrics against the Toronto Raptors on Saturday. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Raptors the game before that. And against the Indiana Pacers the series before…

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Kanye Ain’t the Only Black Person Believing and Spreading Anti-Black Nonsense About Slavery

Kanye West is a cornball with low information and high-fructose corn syrup, but what he’s saying about slavery being a choice soaks in the same implicit anti-blackness as “They wouldn’t have been able to keep me in chains.” Or “I wasn’t built to be a slave.” Or “Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from…