My usual response to a joke like that is “That was funny. The first time I heard it, 25 years ago.”

If I ever get arrested, remind me to not smile in my mug shot.

When I lived in NYC, if I wasn’t expecting someone and the intercom buzzed, I wouldn’t even hit the button to ask who it was. Being able to do that is one of the few things I miss about living there.

42 with a few minor symptoms* and super anxious about what lies ahead.

When I first learned of the concept of “gay” and asked my mother what it meant, she explained it in matter of fact terms with no judgment at all. (“It’s when a man loves a man like I do your father or woman loves a woman like your father does me.”) Since my mother appeared to accept it as normal and commonplace, so…

I can’t edit now and really want to point out that I didn’t mean to refer to a baby as a “shit.” I may think it, but I never say it and I honestly didn’t mean to type it.

I thought Allen and Elizondo’s chemistry was great and the actress who played Mandy was very endearing. That wasn’t enough to keep me watching for one full season, much less six. Honestly, I didn’t even realize it was still on the air as of last May until I read this.

I’m not gonna do it, but I get it. You get a party and people give you shit when you get pregnant, whether or not you’re emotionally and financially ready to care for the shit. You get a party and people give you shit when you marry someone, even when they’re a total loser and your loved ones know you’re making a…

One of the discussions I had with my father as I progressed though grad school that made me realize he wasn’t the font of wisdom I imagined he was:

When I lived in NYC, I was regularly surprised by how many people couldn’t/wouldn’t dress appropriately for the weather. Especially footwear.

Will it stop asshole passerby from throwing litter in my yard? I don’t want to bond with them, I want them to stop treating my yard like their wastebasket.

I once used a prescription topical pain killer whose insert told me to not use it if my body might be consumed by animals after my death. That was too bizarre to not research and it turns out they give the oral version to arthritic cows in India but when they die and are eaten by vultures, it kills the vulture.

Yikes!

I read it in late 80s and remember not liking it at all. To be fair, I was probably around 13 and not much of a judge of literature at that point but I also don’t feel very motivated to give it a second try.

I made several seemingly unsuccessful attempts to post a meme and after I gave up it occurred to me that in a half hour, it will be posted several times. I apologize in advance.

Or be like me and drink everything out of your extensive souvenir coffee mug collection.

No, I wouldn’t.

Most of the Marines I’ve met in person were REALLY short. Like, “Really? You’re tall enough to join up?” short.

When I was getting ready to graduate law school in 2001, I looked into joining the USAF or the Marines as a JAG.* I immediately ruled out the Marines Corp because female JAGs automatically started a rank lower than males. I really hope fixing that was one of the changes they’ve made.

He’s not as scary but can be gruff. I’m not sure if he’d mellowed some by the time he married my mom or if he was easier on me because I wasn’t his biological kid. But his kids have some scary stories.