We need to have a frank, open national conversation about shreddedness.

These pun threads really bring out the borscht in us.

No need to get all crouton us.

Meanwhile, regular American Nazis have reported record growth this year.

But Republicans getting shot at lol! Some of them might be traumatised! Imagine their families waiting for a call from them to confirm that they're not dead or seriously wounded!

From the inspiring genre that also gave us My Left Front Headlight.

Meanwhile, freedom fries are linked to a doubled risk of disastrous land wars in the Middle East. Take your pick, America.

The Republican base understands spending money on the necessities of superpower status, like maintaining a foreign trophy wife who hates your guts.

Even now, years later, the screech and chatter of a dial-up modem is still my sex jam. Damn conditioned reflexes.

We know he's an expert on the cyber.

Meanwhile, a relieved Jared Kushner strikes 'holding the President's hand while he walks up and down big scary stairs' from his list of jobs.

When Some Dude said that, I think emmental the sexist comments people usually make.

Hey, if I want to refrain from showering, brushing my teeth, and opening the windows for a week that's my business!

The American remake of Sick Note will be retitled Walk It Off, Limpdick.

For the benefit of American viewers: this kind of fake-illness scam is incredibly common in Britain, and it's why taxpayers labouring under the tyrannical burden of the NHS look with yearning eyes towards the shining example of America's healthcare system.

2 Ginger 2 Pale.

It would be moronic but true to form if the Tory answer to Corbyn's popular left-wing policies and youth following is to trot out Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson as their new leader.

He was channeling Jaden Smith there, alright.

In the end it's just him and Chris Christie circling each other warily, hungrily, in a bunker strewn with chewed-up bones.

You weren't overawed by his #maverick approach to language, thought, and sentence structure?