16 years of Mountain Dew Code Red and chat forums.

“They can’t stop all of us” has become “but they can stop a couple dozen of us.”

Am I doing this right?

“Really?  That’s the biggest scarf you sell?! Have you checked the back?  Fine. Ring it up.”

Other than he hasn't played in 3 seasons while the other guys mentioned have been on the roster, practiced, and know the playbook.

Gronk confidently telling a neuroscientist that CTE can be fixed is strong evidence that Gronk’s CTE has not, in fact, been fixed.

From the New Scientist write-up:

My dad says it’s because he’s a quitter and only cares about collecting a paycheck instead of winning.

Co-sign my car loan?

you can fuck yourself with it, you pretentious asshole :)

Definitely the best episode of Hard Knocks.

Geriatric vampires?

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

HE HATE TEAMS

This reminds me of a story of the time Ted Williams was asked for an autograph by a young pitcher who had just struck him out, which is recounted in David Halberstam’s outstanding book, The Teammates. The relevant portion is pasted below from some random source on the Internet, but it seems accurate enough based on my…

Master of the soundbite, Jerry Jones really understands how to get your ear:

The question was - “Which fictional monster/movie villain would win the home run derby?”

Tired of all these primadonnas complaining about not getting to play with what they want. Well boohoo snowflake, there are millions of people who would gladly take your place and play for nothing. What happened to being a MAN and playing football in nothing but a leather shell? That’s real FOOTBALL. You go out there…