For most of my adult life, I’ve been the kind of slim that inspired a stranger to tell me “If you could just eat a pork chop sandwich, you’d be alright!” In the fall of 2017, when my husband and I learned I was pregnant, I figured this baby would be that sandwich—but not anything more than that.

I can only blame myself. I shouldn’t have such a high bar for the content of conversations I overhear in a busy food court, particularly in the section immediately adjacent to Panda Express. But alas, I still have the Obama hopey-changey bug, so I ate my orange chicken bowl and smiled warmly at the two suited men who…

I don’t remember much from my collegiate graduation ceremony, but I do remember this highlight from our commencement speaker, the Oprah Winfrey:

Last week a colleague called me into her office to go over some numbers, and when I saw a smiling, gap-toothed girl beaming from a frame on her desk, I said, “Wow, your daughter looks just like you! She’s adorable!” My co-worker—let’s call her Bernice—said, “Thanks! When are you going to have one?”