This is why you do extensive research on who is going to tattoo you. Get to know the artist.

Dammit. We might as well just watch the whole, perfect thing.

I forgot about when she slept with Jordan! I feel like my heart was just broken all over again. How could you, Rayanne? Angela was a good friend to you! AND JORDAN COULDN’T EVEN READ!

I’m trying to become a stuffed crust pizza and I mentioned to my parents that I’m nervous about the timing of some upcoming family weddings, because if I am not drinking then people might get their hopes up that I am knocked up, and I wouldn’t want to make any family announcements till 3 months. My mom and dad laughed…

I wore matching blue eyeshadow to match my denim dress for my prom. Twas the 90’s. and it was glorious.

Except that the only way she could have mitigated that damage would be by violating her personal beliefs and potentially behaving in what she feels in an unethical manner. It doesn’t matter whether you and I agree with her on that. She wanted neither another child nor an abortion, she got birth control sorted out (as…

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

Bjorn Disway.

I must commend you! My mom always took me to restaurants from a really young age, and now I appreciate people who work in the services sector. Plus, I learned etiquette. And, because I was exposed to good food I never was a choosey child. My favorite dish at ten was Steak Tartare. Congrats on your kid.

Yeah, the chemical thing makes sense. It was the “no touching” thing that made my mind boggle- someone would let a kid suffer and burn rather than touch them? It really is right along the lines of refusing to change a diaper. Hopefully it is all urban legend.

I taught summer school for a while—and pool / water park / ocean swim day were always “nobody gets to leave this pavilion until they are literally saturated in SPF45 hey you get back here you are not saturated enough” days.

Don’t “run out” of sunscreen that is fucking negligent.

It’s funny how the conservatives are all about “states’ rights” until they don’t like the law the state made. Then all of a sudden they’re all about the “constitution.”

I didn’t want kids at my wedding but my now husband gave me a heartbroken look when I said that so I pivoted and not only welcomed kids but hired two sitters to watch the kids and we even had a playground at our venue and reminded parents to bring a change of clothes for their kids. If kids are guests every effort…

Mel Gibson and John Travolta join them on my list.

A-fucking-men! It was 100% his responsibility to make sure that he had a relationship with his own children. Even if Goldie did try to prevent him from seeing them, he should have gone to court to at least get visitation. He didn’t because he didn’t care, but now it is convenient to play the victim.

Fuck shitty dads, man. seriously. fuck em to hell.

Here’s the thing about being the child of a parent who abandons you, and then subsequently the child of a loving stepparent: IT’S NOT THE KID’S FAULT THAT YOU LEFT AND SOMEONE ELSE WANTED TO LOVE THEM. My own mother is super bitter about the acknowledgment my stepmother gets on Mother’s Day, but you know what? If you…

Sudeikis is the one that looks like a loan officer, and Helms is the one that looks like an acountant

OMG I fucking love my IUD so much, I practically want to name it.

At least it wasn’t