This take disrespects the art of the shitty take.

Think whatever you want, but there are few players in the league that take the abuse game in and game out that Crosby does and get no penalties for it. Case in point: three Senstors just holding him to the ice in their zone on Tuesday with a ref staring right at them and nothing. It’s pretty obvious that you’re…

Disrespects his own skill, that’s good. I guess people think Crosby should be some kind of angel out there (like the Sedins, who are disrespected all over the league for it), or else he should be fighting guys with half his skill and taking years off his career.

“OK sure, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Congrats to Kunitz. When I was 37 years, 241 days old, I was already 10 years into a serious questioning of my life choices and wondering why I thought a lifetime of mediocrity would lead to anything not considered ‘mediocre’, which isn’t nearly as fun and exciting as scoring a Game 7 winner.

I’m trying to picture rush hour in Canada and all I can see are drivers apologizing profusely and insisting that others go first.

Just out of camera range, Joey Porter and Darrius Heyward-Bey are engaged in a fierce debate at the four-square court over the proper application of the “no babies” rule.

No, I get that, but he also provided context. He said that evidence collected over the years indicates that hits to the boards are not an accurate predictor of concussion risk. That’s a claim that may or may not be true- but going after his comments as being unbelievably stupid means that you not only think that the…

Why the outrage over this? I can certainly see it being true that the boards are less dense and have more “give” than ice, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable that violently slamming into the boards vs. the ice causes less traumatic injuries. He didn’t say that it was impossible to suffer an injury going into the…

Before the next time you feel like harping on “uneducated, poor English,” would you like some grammar pointers? Literally every sentence you wrote has a red flag.

I guess at least one millennial took kindly to Brooks’s condescending yearning for America’s simpler times.

Many keeping score across the South insisted he was batting .600 after the first at-bat.

Imagine a player with the head of a very smart kind of elephant and the body of, well, also an elephant but FAST! Now imagine a man who is half goat and he has hooks for hands. That’s crazy! Why not? Why can’t I have hooks for hands and live in the sewer? I’m just saying there’s no real reason why not. Cam Newton. Tom…

Also, sun is hot.  

Last time a Kizer talked this big, the rest of us got drafted.

“Honestly, I just wanted to get really good at baseball and I figured PEDs can do that. Contracts are fully guaranteed, so you know, don’t hate the player, hate the game and all that, am I right? You get it.”

OOH OOH DO BREITBART NEXT!!!

More like the Fart of the Repeal, ammirite?