Nah, the pot weasels in the writing room love adding as many plot twists as possible.

What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other?

Hi Hannibal how’s Will? You’re letting him keep dogs wherever you’re holed up, right?

For me, it’s not only intelligence, but a great desire to learn and to help others learn. Which is why one of my biggest historical crushes is King Alfred the Great. He’s like the patron saint of sickly nerds who love to read. Also, as a Hufflepuff, I expect a guy to have a strong commitment to doing what’s right,…

Exactly. Ugly women can get laid. Ugly women can also be sexually harassed or assaulted. Being treated as a glorified fleshlight is no compliment.

Drinking makes me sleepy too, but what I have to watch out for is depression tweets. I don’t go past 1-2 beers but if I got drunk I’d prolly be maudlin as fuck. No one enjoys being around a depressed drunk.

Is this a thin person thing? Because I have legs like tree trunks and the LAST thing I’m gonna do is wear pants that make it look like they’re even wider.

Next time I poop I’m gonna name it after you.

How can you tell the difference between diarrhea from e-coli and from regular Chipotles?

That is how a lot of people think. Very unfair.

She was right when criticizing the Cosby costume. She was wrong when she played along with the bs her friend pulled with the wheelchair. People can be right on some things and wrong on others.

A coworker of mine was dressed as one of the Pirates Pierogies (Jalapeno Hannah): http://pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com/pit/fan_forum/…

Tell him that next time he wants to say “slut” say “woman who deserves to be beaten, raped, and/or murdered”, because that’s what’s really being implied by the term “slut”.

Oh God, I have a huge embarrassment squick and that movie makes me so embarrassed for the actors that in some ways it’s worse than some other movies on the list.

Especially when the little girl is black.

I’d like to see her rip open the throat of the annoying anti-vaxxer mom.

Hmmm, if it were like GoT, wouldn’t 2/3 of the female characters have been brutally raped every other ep?

He was trying to do Blue Steel. Stiller did it better.

There are things about Bernie that I like, but I’m disturbed by his stance on gun control. I’m still rather undecided on who I’d like to see.

Ugh, Typhoid Mary is one of the most blatant examples of murder via willful ignorance ever. That the government was a kind to her as it was is more than she deserved. I would’ve choked that bitch.