She’s not ‘Ashton Kutcher’s ex’. She was going to go on a date with him 11 years ago, and maybe she’d have had a chance to be his ex if her life wasn’t cruelly stolen from her. She had a fucking name and it was Ashley Ellerin.

un-grey me and you have yourself a deal.

I wrote Ann M. Martin a letter when I was about 9, telling her how much I loved her and that I wanted to be a writer too. She wrote back a personalised three-page letter with all this encouragement and advice for getting published and telling me to never give up, etc. She is a goddess among women. (I’m an idiot and…

I have a 4-month old and am right there with ya, sister.

If you have enough money for a really nice meal and you like seafood, hit up the Fish Marke in Reykjavik. One of the best meals of my life! Also, go to the bar that is inspired by The Big Lebowski. Both are along the main drag so hard to miss.

Agreed. I just had a baby so this is all fresh in my mind, and I feel like his metaphor is pretty much on the money.

There are not enough HELL FUCKING NOs in the world to answer this question. He’s basically the douchebag to end all other douchebags. Like, The Situation from Jersey Shore would say that Biebs is too dough-y even for him to roll with.*

I read somewhere she actually did that on purpose so she could go on Botched. People like her (and the misguided few who look up to her and/or keep giving her money&opportunities) make me feel very concerned for the future of humanity.

Mark, just want to say that the exchange your having with this Everyone but Albinos person is a great illustration of why you’re my favourite Jez writer: you respect the commentariat, even if what they’re saying is kind of aggressive, and have the high road nailed down to a T.

I’ve always thought he was a kind of a jerk and reading this article I honestly have no idea why. Maybe because he came off a bit bro-y? I dunno, but now I’m kicking myself for totally projecting my own biases onto someone who sounds like a pretty stand-up dude.

I don’t know, the timeline of events is not really clear in the article. For all we know, he could have suggested beastiality one day, she felt rightly weird about it and wasn’t sure what to say, and the next day he mentioned child porn and she was like WTF and called the cops. I’m struggling to make her the bad guy…

I feel like there are people out there who would see this as a perfect opportunity to Gone Girl their significant other. Not saying they’d be as smart as Amazing Amy and would probably bungle it up in execution, but guaranteed there's at least one or two psychos out there considering this! (Does thinking that make me…

I hope Kris Jenner doesn't read Jez, because if she does, she'll be all over your KUWTK/Teen Mom collab like a cheap fur coat. Not that I wouldn't watch it, but I'd feel bad about watching it, and who needs that kind of grief?

Holy shit!

I didn’t even read the article - just saw the headline and ran straight to the comments section to say YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!

I’m going to get on board with your line of thinking. I’m tired, it’s been a long week and there are a lot more pressing matters going on all over the world outside of some hotel in Chicago. The classes ARE probably fun, bonding opportunities for those who take them (I still don’t think front of house staff need to be…

His face - that combination of concentration, frustration and actual physical straining - is going to haunt my dreams tonight.

I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I feel like I would actually kill for that sandwich. I would sell out my grandma for that sandwich. I WOULD CAST A VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP FOR THAT SANDWICH.

How is “misdemeanour sexual assault” even a thing? In what circumstance is sexual assault of any kind just a misdemeanour, akin to jaywalking or spray painting? I feel like the name of the crime alone suggests it’s serious but I guess the U.S. legal system feels differently (non-’Murican here).

There’s a lot to be indignant about here, I get that. The insinuation that makeup/hair matters mainly for front of house staff, as if they’re mere window dressing and everyone else is invisible anyway, for example. The implication that female employees’ appearances are as important, if not more important, than their…