I need this.

That's some evil genius shit right there.

Cantor's for middle of the night food/grouchy waitresses (that's a plus, btw); Ethiopian food; burritos just about anywhere. Stay away from Hollywood Blvd tourist traps for food and you're good.

Also, can we talk about how hilarious the original article is?

I have lots of these things:

The second my husband is out of town and I don't have to pretend to care about eating like a grown up, I buy hella junk food. Doritos for dinner, not giving a fuck for dessert.

Starring for The Smiths.

If smoking was good for me, I'd still be doing it but I quit years ago. A few days ago, I was driving and had this weird phantom urge to take a drag and I was like, ugh, IF ONLY.

The thing that really doesn't sit well with me is that some of the men she sees have children, who may get dragged into some bullshit when an unsuspecting wife finds out her husband is seeing Amy. Maybe all the wives know, and maybe their husbands just say they do.

Or notify the authorities?

What in '90s ska band hell did I just listen to?

Well. I hadn't seen a single unkind word written about Nimoy until today. I like to think Leonard Nimoy had a little something to do with their inability to find his funeral. After reading all these stories about him, he didn't seem like the kind of person who would stand around and do nothing in the face of hateful…

Savings: Use Chrome Incognito for booking flights. It won't allow your page views to be tracked, so flights prices won't magically go up every time you look.

Does the hotel chain also have a rewards card? Can you use credit card points and then stack up hotel rewards points for the nights you stayed?

WRONG.

"gets involved" in science and medicine. I just-what? Like it's mutually exclusive. Because federal programs, like the CDC, don't exist-for the benefit of public health and preventative measures-already. It behooves us as a nation to be on the cutting edge, and to have healthy citizens, so we don't have to drop…

So, under this law, people who accidentally walk into the wrong restroom and are like, "whoops, wrong door!" or ladies who have been standing in line forever to pee, realize the men's room is free and clear and duck real quick could face misdemeanors?

Cadbury and Milka forever, Hershey's never.

Why would you bring your toddlers to a wine tasting in the first place? Isn't that a no go?

I feel like my whole life is one long sequence of "what you actually did."