Wizards are going to have to declare a national emergency to pay his contract.

Word out of Washington is that their plan was always to have him be John Steel Slats anyway.

Yeah, hmmm, what happened over the last 2 years in Washington that would piss the world off?

They’re trading Draymond Green to NO and sending 3 first rounders to Phoenix. The Suns are sending Ayton and Jackson to NO and getting Super Bowl tickets next time it’s in the Big Easy. Why would the Suns be part of this? Sarver figures he could save some money not extending Ayton in three years. 

If cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that final forms are for those who are about to get offed with a giant ass fireball.

But as well as asking the question we all want it to ask—where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, naturally—it asks another, too. Who in the world is she?

One time a customer pooped all over the escalator at my old job and we had to evacuate the premises.

No.

I think he ran the concession stand in week 3 and successfully kept Jameis Winston away from the crab legs.

Robin Hood Video Claims People Want To See Upcoming Robin Hood Movie

What do you get when your roster depletes?

That said, a super-strong superhero who spent most of their time in the hospital because their bones and flesh can’t match their muscles would make for a poor story.

DC Doesn’t Know What to Do With Cyborg

Oh, and the zombie (or rather “Infected” rage-monster) just happens to be a worryingly smart Stanley Tucci. Yeah, humanity looks pretty boned.

Did LeBron go to L.A. to win now? His priorities this time around seemed to be centered on off-court interests: solidifying his brand, expanding his media presence, and making the best lifestyle choice for himself and his family.

“From my point of view the Lakers are evil!”

Nobody? I can think of one person

The Warriors are Thanos telling Iron Man that destiny arrives all the same but LeBron has no Captain Marvel to call.

LeBron finding out that JR went to the White House because he thought they had beaten the Warriors:

I can now make fun of Rocket fans thinking they were invincible because you all thought Chris Paul was going to be perfectly healthy in his older age in the post season.
Like...is this really your first time watching CP3?