I enjoy how Michiganders always manage to find each other.

This is America, Goddammit. We don’t believe in middle grounds, especially not when one of the options is MURDEROUS COMBAT.

This is the saddest Easter egg hunt I’ve ever seen.

Oh hell yes. I think that was the last time I drank alcohol, actually. I pulled out a six-pack and drank, cackling the whole time.

It's so CHEERFULLY malevolent!

Shit yes. I don’t really do desserts so well, but I make amazing hearty dinners that really need good desserts for company, you know? I think a nice roast with your cake and white cis- het male tears to drink would be perfect!

BAHAHAHAHAHA. My sister’s cat once vomited right in front of the litterbox to express her displeasure with it, and then took a shit on the rug.

I’m always on the hunt for that perfect color that looks like someone’s been gnawing on your lips, you know? I wear Benefit’s Chachatint a LOT for that reason—it looks very flushed and glowy on me, and I love it to pieces.

Oooooh. Which of the lippies have you tried? I tend to be fairly conservative in my lip color choices—I wear a lot of fairly “natural” colors, plus like...red and orangey-coral stuff.

Duuuuuuuuuuude. Fuck your dad, man. That’s not cool. :( Would you like to borrow my dad?

I am also going to die a spinster. I have decided the ideal state of living would be to establish like, a home for spinsters. Like some rambling old cliffside dwelling that’s slightly spooky and mysterious and where we sweep around in capes (or Snuggies) and have cats (and dogs) and we watch a lot of Netflix and cook…

Good for you for being there for your student. :) It must be heartbreaking to hear things like that.

This is the second recommendation for Cinder that I’ve seen in the past month. I might need to check it out.

I just read and really liked The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton. A few other books I’ve read and liked/loved/adored recently: The General’s Mistress by Jo Graham. The Kiss of Deception by Mary E. Pearson. Archetype and Prototype by M.D. Waters. Lost Lake by Sarah Addison Allen. The Winter Palace by Eva Stachniak. Ash by…

Tell me more about this Colourpop.

I tried Manhunter in that and HOLY SHIT. I didn’t know it was even possible to get so much pigment in such a tiny amount of solvent. I wish they had more colors, tbh. Like I wear a lot of colors that look like I’ve been biting my lips, you know? Brighter than nude, but not, like, HOLY SHIT HERE COME THE LIPS

I’m so sorry, dude. :( Some doctors are just assnuggets.

I had a spider rappel down toward my boobs when I was taking a nice bubble bath one time. I was like WHOA WHOA WHOA DUDE NO THAT’S NOT OKAY PRACTICE YOUR SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE and slapped at it and it swung out and then CAME BACK AT ME and I was like “noooooooooooooooope” and punched it into the toilet.

I just don’t understand what is so difficult about your request.

I drink very rarely these days. The last year I’ve just had no desire whatsoever to drink, aside from during the state of the union address (who DOESN’T drink during that, tbh) and a few other events. I had like 3 beers and then a cocktail on my graduation night and even then I was paranoid the whole time because the…