This may sound extreme, but everyone needs to cool it with the Nazi fascist stuff. We need fewer Nazis and fascists. Like 100% less.

“moderate”? No. Those instagrams are everything.

(This will be in the greys, if someone will be kind enough to promote)

I’m too far away from anything to march, and my two year old is all achy in the legs due to getting his shots a few days ago... If we were there the toddler would be wearing a shirt that says ‘Kiss me, I’m vaccinated’ and the two month old would be wearing a shirt that says ‘Don’t kiss me, I’m too little to be…

I want one of these:

Exactly!!! I will bitch about it, and then make it appointment television. And then be quietly disappointed at Chris Carter’s hubris.

Yes, this. All those things you just wrote.

I think finally, finally he got drunk and woke up the next day with a hyper-realistic tattoo of Hillary on his right forearm. T-shirt weather is coming, and no matter how hard he scrubs, IT WON’T COME OFF.

Yeah I’m thinking that ‘five facts about my awesome wife’ tweet is a pretty big tell. She must be PISSED.

Fuck!

Holy shit, history is not going to be kind to us.

That gator saved a future brilliant surgeon (who hopefully will not then become a delusional secretary of Housing and Urban Development)!

From watching Sesame Street trying to resuscitate Elmo for the past few years?

Yeah, so adorable that he doesn’t have the strength for it actually make a difference. Gator is a goner.

Those lucky motherfuckers.

Well, maybe just for the “Pink Elephants On Parade” sequence.

Aziz plays a genie who encourages you to grant your own wishes.

Will Smith should not do this movie, but I have to say that Guy Ritchie as the director is significantly more incomprehensible to me. I can at least understand why Smith was approached for the part (more than I can understand why he’d sign on), but Ritchie?

The Guy Ritchie thing is waaaayyyy worse than the Will Smith thing