not if you are a spider

Captain America is a national treasure. I mean it says it right there in the name.

he is literally THE american treasure

this is literally jesus punishing you for talkin shit about chris evans

So? It's not "No Make-Up" then.

I have a friend who teaches photography. He likes to open his beginning classes with:

ah yes the "no make-up make-up" ruse

Oh god, she's going to kill us all.

Does smearing vaseline on the lens count as makeup?

I boldly forego Photoshop at work every day. Where's my hero award?

I only wake up with blood on my mouth after devouring last night's fling like a black widow. The human blood keeps me looking young enough to go without makeup just like these women. Teen models. Just like me. No make up necessary.

Let's not forget perfect lighting.

Light, soft body hair huh? That must be nice. I already feel bad for my almost 2yr old daughter. She has a mother with PCOS and a dark, hairy Macedonian background father. She already has little hairy ankles and a lightly covered hairy back. She actually had Mohawks on her ears for a few months when she was born.…

My grandma was quite something. Burned her bra, was one of the very first women to go to university, and she kept going for classes all her life until she got cancer the first time at 84!

Just because you hate it, doesn't make it not a reality. It is pretty clear in the piece that she was considered the most beautiful girl because it was different in this particular culture. So yes, you're right, most people do not have these features and its pretty common to admire what you don't have.

Well "Jimmy" is also a slang term for Penis (although not really used anymore), so it really makes perfect sense. But Howard Johnsons would have been funny too.

Even if the skin tone was correct it is still a terrible portrait.

Truth.

Dave Franco > James Franco.