So... Trump does have a black friend...

Not to be salty, but I knew she didn’t bake those fuckin’ pies the second I saw them.

Yeah, I still don’t know what to make of this in the larger context. The rates for these crimes among NFL players is lower than it is among the general population so it’s not really a problem you can link to football. I suppose I can get on board with the idea that you want the NFL to act extra-judicially…

First they came for my sock drawer, and I said nothing....

yoga nerd, it’s very fucking disrespectful of you to suggest people use the Kondo method so close to Pearl Harbor Day, my parents were WWII babees

Kourtney is my husband’s favorite Kardashian.

Ask and ye shall receive...

Okay so I know you were talking about, you know, ‘THE NORMAL’ healthy humans BUTTTTTT...

okay but i finally learned how to fold a fitted sheet and that was a proud moment

My dog’s hatred of wearing clothes is legend.

Baxter is mixed on Christmas.

This was my most recent foster puppy- he just went to his forever home last week. He is the cutest, sweetest thing ever!

Always up for a good puppy party.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

I’m not crying you’re crying.

Pretty sure this is the trolliest confession of all time and Bobby did it.

You captured it so perfectly, I feel like I was there.

“Honestly, it’s just crazy that a network known for such intense Bush worship can’t handle a little pussy.”

His hotel suite met his personal approval rating. His suits hung pristinely in the closet like flat, headless Teds standing single file. The Gideon Bible had been removed from the drawer and placed on the pillow because no Bible deserved to be hidden in a drawer. The scene was very pedestrian. It was Tedestrian.…

your art department doesn’t get paid enough