chamarita
Chamarita
chamarita
12/21/15 8:55PM
2

Omfg thank you for this. I was a few years too old to be a Sassy reader, but obvs knew what it was. Every time I see it mentioned, the only thing I think of is this sketch. And then I get sad thinking of the loss of Phil Hartman. Off to find clips of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and The Anal Retentive Chef.

12/21/15 3:44PM
1

I coveted the Kermit phone in the late 70s, but it wasn’t to be. 😔

12/17/15 5:39PM
3

Or pretending you’re Nadia Comenici and using the arm of the sofa as an Olympic gymnastics vault...

12/17/15 5:37PM
1

The glam lady across the street had a doohickey she would put in the rotary dial so she wouldn’t ruin her fake dragon lady burgundy nails.

12/17/15 5:32PM
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I had the grocery cart and fucking loved it. You can’t play “store” without it.

11/13/15 9:17PM
13

Said the same thing further down. Glad we both noticed that. I won’t touch my ‘stache, but thankfully it’s not as gloriously thick as my sister’s. I do, however, keep the brows and burns under control. People ask me where I get my brows done, and are surprised when I say I do them myself. I would look like Bert from Read more

11/13/15 8:26PM
5

I have to say, as a fellow hairy-as-fuck ethnic person, I’m impressed that Ariana Grande is still rocking her sideburns. I assumed someone at her age - with her resources - would have had it lasered off.

11/04/15 6:27PM
3

I’ve tried at least 3 different OGX formulations, and not a single one detangled my hair. Although it would feel mostly soft/conditioned when dry, I was afraid I was doing too much damage just trying to detangle the ends. I tried progressively higher moisture formulations until I gave up on that brand. I switched back Read more

I’ve tried at least 3 different OGX formulations, and not a single one detangled my hair. Although it would feel

10/01/15 5:28PM
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I went to a few games this year to see my home team play the Dbacks, and I told my BFF they’re missing out on an opportunity to be the scary badasses of the MLB. Like, put snakes in the opposing team’s hotel rooms and clubhouse (not real diamondbacks, obvi - but some non-venomous species). Ditch the bobcat mascot and Read more

9/23/15 2:25PM
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I was in Ulta over the weekend looking for a new undercoat for my old lady spackle regimen. I saw a new brand (Juice Beauty*), and was testing out the products on my hand. I shit you not, a salesperson walked up to me, while I had TWO products in hand, and said, “Are you looking at Juice Beauty?” I showed incredible Read more

9/21/15 2:40PM
1

Exactly. We’re all self-important assholes when we’re young. And self-important kids with money are worse. Read more

9/21/15 1:57PM
1

Anyone who gives my awful peasant feet a pedicure deserves my attention and respect. And a large tip.

9/10/15 2:22PM
2

Exactly. As a 41 going on 81 spinster, it’s all CBS News for me. No stupid fluff or stunts in the morning show, and Pelley keeps it newsy after dark.

8/27/15 2:59PM
1

People bitch about Kaiser, but having grown up a Kaiser kid/adult, I miss it. For the last twelve years living outside of California on BC/BS and now United Health Care, I dream of when I could pay my co pay at kaiser and then just be done with it. Now I worry about deductibles, what’s covered and what’s not, random Read more

8/27/15 12:39AM
2

I’m in my early 40s and avoid glittery shadow unless I’m going out at night. During the day it definitely makes me look older. I have to disagree about the brown eyeliner. Must depend on the person. I used to wear brown eyeliner almost exclusively from the time I started wearing makeup until my mid 30s. Just seemed to Read more

8/27/15 12:22AM
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I bought Maybelline butterfly whatever at Walgreens, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t look exactly like Benefit’s They’re Real! I have always had good luck with Maybelline mascaras. I know a lot of people like Cover Girl now for drugstore mascara, but it does absolutely nothing for my lashes.

8/24/15 8:38AM
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So, I lived in San Antonio for 8 years, and took these screen caps on my tv because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Dick Tips.

8/20/15 5:20PM
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Also, I’ve noticed a lot of the new developments touting NINE fucking bedrooms. In addition, it appears these are becoming de rigueur to haul all of the kids now, though the Yukon/Tahoe XLs are still popular.