I love that. I love the assumption that just because some guy is good at running a football fifty yards, he must be hung like a blue whale. And that’s just setting aside the racist portion of the statement.

If it’s about Mount Rushmore and it wasn’t in North by Northwest, I don’t believe it.

.....your first gay experience is one drink away......Can I buy you a drink?...

At least that shows what type of porn he likes.

If you have to tell people how big your dick is it’s probably pretty small. People with actual big dicks are pretty modest, like me, I never tell people about how I have a big ol’ dick. It’s huge but you’d never know it cuz I’m so modest about it.

.... and goats tell no tales.

.....never said his “exes” were female......

I have wondered that for YEARS. Who looks at their child and decides years of playground beatings and seething vengeance wrapped in state senate runs are worth the names like Grover/Newt/Scooter?

Gremlin Oldsmobile?

They’re also named after failed car models?

HFCS CAN!!!

no, they are kids of celebrities

But the clapback though. Damn, Reince, you lil freak.

These are days of future past.

Like ten minutes ago? I was such a different person then.

Do you remember the time you wrote:

Per Ben Schwartz: coca-Cola was behind 9/11. There is no reason for a bottle of water to cost $8.00

I’m from northern Ohio (Not far from Canada-land) and I actually have a healthy respect for our neighbors to the north. The red and white robes still look silly, in my opinion, but I recognize the strong English (and French in parts) DNA of your country.

Buggery: possibly the most English sounding crime imaginable.