President Trump (vomit) is going to make Dubya look like fucking Lincoln in comparison.

Put me down for the latter.

As a longtime user/addict, yes. Yes it motherfucking is. All my friends make fun of me for it, but I can’t function normally without some sort of lip balm.

He’s the hero we need, but not the one we deserve.

Do you never go out in public? Sporting events? Movies? It’s almost impossible to avoid occasionally pissing next to another dude unless you’re a recluse or live in a country without indoor plumbing. Or are you that weirdo who has to piss in a stall?

I think it’s just basic common decency to not look at other people’s ballots, no matter what. It’s like looking at another dude’s junk in the restroom while he’s peeing next to you. You just don’t do it even though there’s nothing physically stopping you.

HamNo posts are the worst.

Prediction: David Ross will be a major league manager next season.

We can’t all go to Gudger College.

Surgical precision.

I hate you. +1

So fucking glad they lost Saturday. I’ll always root against them.

Yeah, it’s almost as if parking spots in college areas is scarce or something.

That’s one of my favorite Simpsons jokes ever.

Cannabis and lots of it.

Poor baby. Back to your safe space.

Hey my racist uncle finally discovered Deadspin!

Is HamNo one of the staff’s kids or something? It’s nice that you guys let him write articles.

Yes.