Turning a blankable canvas towards the camera for the internet to edit is the new Republican eating a corndog at the state fair. Keep up the good work, Gospodin President.

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

I’m 33 and my favorite book is still Everybody Poops.

The same way you go from a Nobel Prize winner at Energy to a Dancing with the Stars loser.

Bush actually read quite a lot! Something like two books a week. That’s right: Trump makes George W. Bush look like a fucking academic.

You know things are bad when wasting tens of billions of dollars just to piss off Mexico seems like one of the less awful things to come out of the White House.

Migratory birds and mammals such as jaguars will care about the wall. Yet another pussy that hates Trump.

I’m much more concerned about the sanctuary cities than the wall. Yes, the wall is a stupid waste of money and rude, but I don’t see it doing serious damage to the country (I might not know enough about the issue, though).

See, it seems petty... But also it’s a basic fucking litmus test too. “Can you, when pressed by the United States Congress, speak the literal truth? Or are you a deluded lunatic 100% of the time?”

I knew there had to be a sliver lining

Except this time, when they point their gun at the Exxon-Mobil mercenaries protecting said corporate land, they will be shot dead instantly and no one will give a shit.

If those Bundy fundies thought that the fed’s grazing fees were high, just wait until they get the invoice from Exxon-Mobil.

I don’t think abortion is a right, but rather a choice you are able to make when you have rights. If others are able to dictate the relationship between a woman and her doctor, or what she does with her family, or what medications or birth control she can take based on their religion and beliefs, does she have rights?

This country is fucking stupid. Obama is going to leave with a high approval rating of around 60%, with a majority approving of how he handled major things like terrorism, the economy, and health care. Meanwhile, instead of choosing the candidate Obama endorsed and who promised to build on his legacy, they chose…

I think Trump knows that his base doesn’t really want an end to the ACA so he’ll make a huge splash by vetoing the repeal. Trump has a golden opportunity here to stand up to Congress and he bladder take it.

The only way to stop a bad bear is with a good bear. Ban bear free zones!

You seem to have forgotten that Lochte is drug tested for everything under the sun, and frequently. Even if he was going to try to risk it (and risk losing his medals if they hair tested him, since some drugs have long half lives and he might not be able to prove that he only took the drugs before the swimming events…

I accept legitimacy of the legal process

One of the companies I worked for started using it for their company AV. Not only was it a horriably designed product, but it set off alarms on our edge network security systems. Apparently it phones home back to Russia a lot.