i wish I could have showed this to the young woman driving a late-model BMW with state PBA plates who was tailgating me this morning, honking her horn because I was driving 34 mph on a slushy 35 mph road.

I really like the color of that Chevy. Much less boring that the sea of black/white/grays I see on the road.

Oops...I should have added a “spring” in there.

Wow, I never knew that writers not named Stephen King could pull down six figures in a year. It’s making me rethink my journalism degree...

There is a reason that the NYC and Boston Marathons are in the fall and not mid-July.

The real animals are those who filmed this in portrait mode.

Can you recommend a product that I can bring on an aircraft that will kill such germs?

Unsure if that is a good thing or not...

My local Honda dealer told me that someone traded in a 2006 Element with 300k miles on it. He sold it a day later for $2k.

I’m a single guy and I call my dull CR-V a “mom-mobile” and not because it attracts cute moms :/

If you drove your own vehicle to park at the airport for a business trip and returned home to find it a charred hulk in the EWR parking garage, would your employer be liable to replace your car?

After my breakup 5 years ago, I bought a 2003 Mitsubishi Galant with 140k miles on it for $1500. Lasted me 4 years and the only repair it required was a new starter. But boy was that a sad car to be seen in. 

Neanderthals and Denisovians spent 97,000 years together under the same roof? And I thought it was bad spending a weekend with my in-laws.

My college was one of the few universities that still had a PE requirement and it was awesome. I particularly enjoyed volleyball and weight training. Our instructor ended up leaving school to work for the Yankees. It was also really neat trying to watch 300-lb football linemen attempt to learn ballroom dancing. They…

Hockey parents are a certain level of crazy unmatched by any other sport.

Siri would respond to every command with “and with your spirit.”

You and your “education.” Ssssh....Real Housewives is on!

Someone knows their math!

I’ve seen too many fatal motorcycle crashes firsthand to know that I am never, ever going to ride one of those machines.

You worked for an ex-cop? I work with current cops and no one looks for more creative ways to duck out of work than they do lol.