You only needed to be standing for the anthem.  The rest is just fluff.

My favorite pro team is trying to woo my favorite college team's head coach away.  I'm conflicted, because while I'd love to see Hairball gone from A2, I don't want him anywhere near the Jets.  We're already a tire fire in a dumpster.  He hasn't won jack-shit, and I don't believe that's ever going to change.

B.C. TIGER PRIDE!

White Georgia.

Lying by omission.  I couldn't do it.

I Shammgod the dogma.

This year, I skipped Christmas with the family, entirely. I made up a bullshit excuse about not feeling well, and I had a great day. I ate Chinese takeout and watched Avengers: Infinity War on Netflix. My mother and father leave me be when it comes to my atheism, but my fucking stepmother keeps trying to indoctrinate…

Who is William Dafoe?

Saw Aquaman on Friday. It was awesome.

Spices come from foreign lands.  No FUCKING way, Pence eats spiced mayo.

Had to knock the dust off of this one, but it’s apropos.

Xenu.net is another treasure trove.

The firearms instructor in me, can NOT get past her crossing her thumbs on the pistol.

This is correct.  The fuel pump is inside of the fuel tank.  The fuel that surrounds the pump, acts as a coolant, to keep the pump from overheating.

My question is...WHERE THE FUCK WAS HER FAMILY FOR 150 DAYS?!

Can you grow a pink goatee?

No snark here, but...HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU FORGET THAT YOU ARE TRANSPORTING A HUMAN HEART?!

EVERY Sports team needs a good doggo!

He always looks like he’s out to lunch.

Why am I fan of both teams?!