No one is better than Berman. I mean that literally. If no one was there it would have been infinitely better than Berman doing the play-by-play.

That trophy made me laugh so hard just now

Xanax always makes me buy crazy shit, not alcohol.

I would’ve gone with “Boiler Down” myself but hey, we’re all molecules

Patriots could have used a guy to teach their young pass catchers how to murder someone without getting caught.

Why drink whiskey when there's LSD?

Don’t forget that it has to be fair. I’ve heard a high school ump call “infield fly if fair” before.

I played the heck out of it for a while, realized there wasn’t much to it and deleted it.

+ 0.81818181818181

Your... species?

If I were an umpire, I’d have called the next 2 strikes balls instead, just because of him trying to show me up or thinking I might be stupid enough to fall for it.

That sentence (and the entire article really) is just addressing the confusion some people feel over why people who “have it all” would choose to end their own lives. That confusion is out there, regardless of whether you feel it, and it isn’t entirely unreasonable. I think it’s an important idea to tackle. And by the…

EXACTLY read the fucking article there are some great things said.

I was just about to ask this. I remember seeing this guy pretty much single handedly cost the Cubs a wild card spot in ‘04 and he looked old then.

A total BUST for the Cubs. Still is looking for the plate. Just shows if you were born with a HOSE attached to your body it’s worth millions.

Wait, that guy is followed by Tony Hawk? That has to be a follow up of its own, right?

Please hire Zach Lowe and Jonah Keri

The deep sea fangly fish!

One cool thing about the Alphasmart is it’s ability to plug into a computer later and dump all the text you typed into a word processor. That way it’s easy for you to send it to your editor/blog/fanfic site you don’t have to type it out again.

Thank you for providing a great example of the transitive property.