They should be charged with at least involuntary manslaughter if someone dies because the drone prevented rescue. And their punishement if guilty should be death by fire. And it should be televised so other drone owners understand the stakes.

Other Random Women Who Call Themselves Experts and tell other women how to talk, act, dress. I don’t want a man to tell me what to do and I don’t want another woman to either. So fuck off mother fucker. JUST stop with the micromanagement of words and thoughts. Just stop. Fucking assholes. Police your own damn selves.…

How about the kid he kneed in the face?

Lock him and Marlins Guy in a room and tell them you’re not opening the door until one of them is dead. Then shoot whichever one comes out.

If I’ve learned anything from sports, it’s that you can’t just deck women at home and expect to get away with it.

My ex-girlfriend made pasta and was grating what she thought was parmesan cheese on top. It was only after we started to eat the pasta did we learn that she had grated white chocolate leftover from Easter. The fact that this block of “cheese” was in the shape of a headless rabbit apparently escaped her notice.

I once ate an entire wedge of brie knowing damn well it was brie

Listen to yourself.

Dear Old Guy,

let's all go to starbucks to discuss this further.

The lady in the Olive Garden lake of marinara sauce has to choose you, then you have to pull a pasta fork from a block of extra hard cheese.

God I needed this. THIS IS WHAT I'VE DEALT WITH ALL DAY.

Look, the tone of your story told me that you're kind of a dick. You clearly disagree.

Um.

Years ago I ordered I chocolate milkshake at McDonald's, and they gave me vanilla. I asked for a new shake, only to have the counter person insist, increasingly angrily, that it was a chocolate milkshake and I was just crazy. I kept pointing out that it was solid white and had no chocolate flavor; she kept rolling her…

I love reading these on Mondays, and as I was reading today I thought about the server at my parents' favorite Italian chain restaurant (not Olive Garden, but similar). My parents are in their mid-70's, my dad has dementia and my mom has...she likes to rifle through her coupons. It's a big deal for them to "get out,"…

I'm skinny as hell. Just look at all this skin - it wobbles when I wave...

Maybe she thought there was such a thing as Irish Roast?

Dude, boy hat dog is Billy Cosby.

Oh, sure - it always starts like this. The Brewers get a dog. They love it, they care for it. The Brewers adopt more puppies. The next thing you know, there are puppies everywhere. And since no one is taking charge to actually train them, they're just making a mess of everything, shitting and pissing all over. So they…