To be fair, these are feds that will send a pair of agents to deal with a woman, who claims she has to go to the bathroom, and they let her go unaccompanied and you will strain zero brain cells guessing what happened next.

Complicit she may be, but she’s doing her best to survive in a situation that clearly terrifies her (and it absolutely should) with the limited tools that are available to her. This may well lead her to the grave, but I hope for better.

Acceptably slow, but too nice to be creepy.

still waiting on a slow creepy version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

Not saying you’re wrong necessarily, but this is a lot of thought to put into what might well be dime-a-dozen continuity glitches (look at the way Wayne’s sitting in his big scene), especially in a show shot in a location notorious for on-a-dime weather changes.

What is this, a review? A recap? A trailer announcement?

If Linda groomed Dot to feed to Sheriff in order to make her own getaway, how did Sheriff’s current (ly abused) wife get into the picture? I’d hate to think Dot did the same thing to her.

I’ve got one family member who is gonna be pissed.

If you told me Bay and Snyder graduated from film school at the top of their respective classes, I’d believe you, even as I cringe and squirm through some of their movies.

I’m glad this feature has so far survived.

Now do the Paranormal Activity houses!

There have been murder Santas, but so far as I know this was the only heroic murder Santa.

I am so grateful right now that this wasn’t a slideshow

“deserve”

As much as I enjoy a good “make thing rated R” joke, none of these sound like something that would come from Snyder. I assume it would just be more graphic, slow-motion crushing of enemies.

(Beefcake The Mighty voice)

It went on a pure downward vector like Jaws, but that’s easier to do without a dead cat bounce when there’s only three movies. We’ll see how this one fares!

Finally some “Wears the same jacket since the 80's” representation!

I got a Tossed Salad notification for this?

“Christmas With The Devil” rules, shockingly convincing 70's-style proto-metal that somehow came out in 1992. (maybe it was an old recording?)