Staple gun.

“A former security guard at JFK Airport filed a lawsuit against former employer Allied Security Services...”

I’m in the grays, so I’ll never get heard, but...

I really want Bill Gates, or Warren Buffett, or some other multi-billionaire to purchase Twitter outright and shut it down.

You found one of the Huayras registered in Montana.

Does anyone else pronounce his name “Idjit Pie”?

Two of them:

Is there an emergency release inside the frunk? Because, man, you could have a lot of fun while someone is driving.

Best road rage I ever saw was between a giant guy on a tiny scooter and a guy in a pickup. I have no idea what instigated it, but the guy on the scooter kept trying to attack the guy in the truck. While driving. They ended up pulling into a parking lot to settle their differences. My wife didn’t want to stay to…

I work with a guy who drives one of these. Same beige color. Has hubcaps, though. The plainest, dullest person I have ever met. You could only describe him in the vaguest terms. You know how some people look like their dogs? This dude looks like his car.

I was 20. I had slept in late this day, because I had to work late at the restaurant. I took the back way to work for two reasons: 1) I hated the normal highway - getting stuck behind old people sucks when the speed limit is 55 - and 2) this road was normally empty and had a speed limit of 70! Oh, and it was a poorly…

I quit going to Jiffy Lube after they were very adamant that my ‘07 RAV4 (V6... I have some dignity) needed the steering fluid changed. I assume they were going to add more electrons.