Oh, god, yeah, I could have said that better. It’s been about ten years since this all happened, but I remember talking to my friends and being like, I don’t understand what he meant when he was saying that he felt guilty being with me, and they were like, yeah, this is a whole Thing.

Don’t mistake my willingness to accept that I was out of my depth for self-hate, and don’t mistake your own smugness for intelligence.

She was SO COOL though, and she’d already done her own. Plus, how sweet would it have been to have ended up with a haunted nip?

True story: in the late 1990s, my then-boyfriend’s female cousin used a potato when she pierced my nipple with a sewing needle that she’d waved over a candle flame in the garage of the town funeral parlor where my best friend lived. Shockingly, I still have a nipple (and it’s not haunted or anything as far as I know).

HA! If only I were actually a boss...alas, with great responsibility comes no power.

I got dumped once for the same reason! It made me sad to lose him, but I couldn’t argue with his reasoning because I have no fucking idea what that feels like. And then my friends explained to me how much it sucks to be a black woman and all the successful black men want to date white women.

I had to have lunch with a new hire on Monday and for some fucking reason, this woman thought that her first day at a new job was a great time to go off on how ‘the blacks’ name their kids, and I was just like ‘yeah, it’s not like white people ever name their kids stupid shit like Madyson and Dylann, amiright?’

It’s the essence Sun Club palette. I have it and I love it!

I have that palette from essence! It’s great!

My favorite thing about Hangouts is that I sent my friend an invite around the same time as she sent me one, we both accepted each other’s invite, and now we’re both locked in a limbo where our names on each other’s contact list say ‘invitation sent’ and if we try to chat, it says ‘invitation pending’, and I guess…

Same here! I live in the Midwest now and once I saw TWO of them while driving home from the eye doctor - it absolutely made my day!

Sometimes these things act as shibboleths for identifying non-locals, too. I submit Charlotte, VT (pronounced ‘shur-LOT’), Lebanon, NH (‘LEB-nin’), and Berlin, NH (‘BER-lin’). Oh! I almost forgot Milan, NH, which is just north of Berlin and is pronounced ‘MY-lan’. (bet you can guess what state I’m from)

Don’t you mean ‘You Get No Sympathy From Me, Smoothie’?

Yeah, Lakes Region! Even with all the FSPers from Mass, I think there’s still hope. I like to think I’m seeing a more politically engaged native population because the one thing people from New Hampshire hate more than anything else is when Massholes come up to NH and fuck around with our shit.

I’d like to make a plug for my favorite place for ‘working’ noise: myNoise. It has the biggest variety of noise generators I’ve ever seen, and it’s free (you can support the guy who does it if you want and there’s a few perks to that, but he doesn’t do the thing like some places do where the free version is crap or…

Oo, you just gave me an idea! Someday I’d love to own a big ol’ piece of land where people who don’t have fenced-in yards and do have dogs that don’t do well with other dogs can just sign up to be the only person with their dog on my land for an hour!

I honestly don’t know what I’d do if my dog were any bigger than he is. He absolutely HAAAATES going for walks now but I still want him to get out and about every day so we’ll walk as long as he’s willing and then I pick him up and carry him in a doggie sling for the rest of the walk. I’m always running into people…

SLOWLY. For a while we thought we had a behavioral problem on our hands and tried to ‘fix’ it, and then eventually we went to a vet who was like ‘this actually sounds like Canine Cognitive Dysfunction’. And then once you hear that, everything makes sense, and if you’ve ever known a human with dementia or Alzheimer’s,…

I used to do the yellow leash/vest that says ‘stay away’ thing, and sometimes that would help, but you have to live somewhere that enough people know what the yellow leash means. Otherwise I’d just get people coming up and getting all up in my dog’s business so they could look at/ask about the vest. The worst was when…