I'm not positive this is an '04 S500.

The belly on this car is flat as can be, unless the frame bent

Jalops take note!

Haven't you heard? The CLS isn't a sedan, it's a "Coupe", fuckwad.

Number of 4C's that will be driven to all-you-can-eat steak and shrimp buffets: 0.

For $15k, the wife will probably kick me out, but that's okay, I can live in the back of this thing

Bike? I thought you hippies only drove diesels or hybrids.

if you have 525 horsepower available and still need a 1 humanpower bike to have fun then go away

"You guys like this concept?"

Since it's unencumbered by reality, VW says it can do zero to 60 mph in just 3.6 seconds.

Of course, that's just basic math. Also, sorry, I think my pun was too subtle. Get it? Rocked? Cuz it was gravel? I'll show myself out.

Oh no!!! Portrait orientation! The Jalopnik commentiariat will no doubt shit a kitten!

Well played, Google, well played.

Maybe he had two blowouts...............not a Goodyear for him in General.

Hint: it's the guy driving on rims.

Extra Stabby Scion xB dash

Note to customers: Warranty is voided after 1 Le mans.

Pretty dynamic write-up there, Patrick.