Does it matter if he drinks himself to death? Cause that’s what happens to alcoholics.

Are you...are you stumping for Jimmy Clausen?

The man has beautiful teeth.

Look for an edgy thinkpiece on “the way we used to write gamers” in tomorrow’s Charlotte Observer.

That's 8-1 level Twitter right there.

Keep it in your pants, buddy.

That’s nothing. Last time I caught an angry case of VT DE, it took a couple of weeks of heavy antibiotics before it cleared up.

Shoes.

Sir, just please calm down and we’ll get off your lawn.

Didn't take long.

I came for the highlights. I’m staying for the highlight truthers.

Edit: [Redundant]

Listen to yourself. You sound like an asshole.

Geez. Some folks just can’t handle getting dabbed on.

Except for that one loss. But 8-1 is awesome!

Nah. They’re 8-1.

I know you are, but what am I?

I don’t think your apology is sincere.

Barry, there’s an un-ironic “thrice” in your article. Just wanted you to know.

Your willingness to disregard the clearly ironic in the name of false outrage, your apparent lack of a sense of humor, and basically your entire outlook on life (that last one might be a reach, but still).