Notes about things:

I’ll have you know that the FUBAR are a proud people, with long standing tradition of honor and courage. I’m proud to be associated with FUBAR, and you should to. Why, even...

sit on my *beach

It’s just nice to be noticed for something in sports other than child abuse up here in the frozen tundra.

Ooo! What else can I Nostradamus into reality? A web browser that runs well and doesn’t consume RAM like a Sarlaac pit? Government that cares more about governing than petty power and partisan shit? 3D printers so good that you can download a car, like the piracy ads expect you to?

Are net crabs just crabs that weren’t caught in a trap, but instead were caught in a net, as the good Lord intended?

ASSEMBLE THE ENORMOUS CATAPULT!

So, is the next logical step Gabe Newell, Morhaime, Shear, Riot Games CEO Brandon Beck, and...I dunno, one of the dudes who runs Smite, all playing the 4 MOBAs they make against some pros? I’d watch those 4 matches. Well, 3 of them.

First, that robot looks like it has a weird ball sack for legs.

...proceed.

At least Legos have uses other than as a video game character. And I really want Portal Legos.

Ew, sticky dicky.

That’s a load of crepe.

Who told you?!

I’m glad that you wrote this article. I don’t think that anyone would have noticed otherwise.

I’m still grumpy that Jalopnik doesn’t do driving game reviews. I can understand no Mario Kart (which would be hilarious), but no Forza? No Gran Turismo? C’mon, man.

OK, that’s cool and all, but...could you make it work with an arcade stick?

Feeling good always gets tempered with acceptance if it doesn’t turn out, but I agree. 2nd place in Central, wild-card spot, probably lose in the first round to Dallas or something, cue mournful wails.

Shit. He’s the perfect human being. How else would you explain his appearance on State Farm commercials, as well as Key and Peele’s Football Names Part 3 (yay for A. A. Ron Rod-grrs)? He has to self-depricate, or else we’d see through his facade of perfectness to see the lizard-man that he truly is.