You're being glib, Reggie.

Oh sweet! Turns out I am "circus fat!" Excuse me, I have to go update my LinkedIn! :D :D :D

but why DOES your buttercream have milk in it...

Why are we not still doing phrasing?

I call them "Woo Girls." Because in Austin, they always get way too drunk at shows and festivals then stand around going, "WOooooOO! WOO! WOooOOOOO!" Even during really quiet parts of a song or whatever. Then at the end of the night they take off their heels, sit on a curb, and start crying because of some bro.

I'm canadian, so maybe i'm just dumb, but is cornhole when you fuck people in the ass?

If I might give praise to the saints who serve me.... I take my elderly father and grandmother to an Italian chain restaurant which may or may not have the words 'Olive' and 'Garden' in the title. I do this because handicapped parking is usually available even at peak hours and it's near both of their nursing homes.

8 years going into Retail and Food service experience. One of my favorite stories is when I worked the grill at the local university. One of my favorite stories is the guy who ordered a Chilli Cheese dog.

Oh man, food customers are the worst. I work in a bakery as a cake decorator which is the swirling vortex of dealing with regular food customers + brides + spoiled children. I've had customers act shocked when I told them buttercream contained milk and that cake does contain gluten. My worst idiots come from people…

I just took a selfie of myself with this in the background. Checkmate, atheists!

It gives me infinite pleasure that Cate Blanchett, who was robbed of the *admittedly meaningless* 1998 oscar for best actress by Paltrow, is now on top. As does the fact that Tina Fey, who once had to play a lame bit part in Paltrow's SNL monologue from the '90s, is pretty much at the top of her field.

"I think it's different when you have an office job because it's routine and you know you can do all the stuff in the morning, and then you come home in the evening," she said. "When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day, and that…

To say nothing of the bridal fair I attended (with a friend who was getting married) where a helpful lady our own age (about 28 at the time) told us that we should start Botox now before the big day!

Rob Bricken, your io9 account may have been hacked.

9) Snuffaluffagus

As a proud Canadian, I wish the U.S the best of luck and good health in today's contest

The dangers of Poutine.

No wonder Team Canada could barely beat Latvia! They are just the Oilers!!

I ONLY EAT AMERICAN CHEESE!