The defendant then reached over the valet podium where [victim] was standing and grabbed him around his neck with both hands. [Victim] stated that he continued to strangle him for approximately 5 to 6 seconds before [victim] was able to peel the defendant’s fingers from his neck.

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

I think my ex had one of those BMW shifters in her nightstand for some reason...

Luckily, Olsen’s wife will never see this.

If they did the model, and used ex-post information from previous Super Bowls or even large sporting events like the Olympics, those financial lackeys probably would have been fired anyway for pointing out how much money it would lose.

Newsman: I wish he’d come back.

Comment + username = Perfectshawn

That’s more of a stunner than an RKO.

technically, VCU is west of 95.

I’m not going to jump to any conclusions until I have all the facts, but it appears that Eisenhauer made two mistakes. The first is that he senselessly and maliciously murdered a 13 year old girl. The second is that he did not attempt to run from the police.

make sure you have a cigarette handy

Anyway, this is a good reminder that as much as fans may hate rival teams and players, the players themselves almost never do.

No surprise—there hasn’t been a Cup in Edmonton in 25 years.

Tennis has always been a racket.

19/20. Yes, I used to play a lot of FIFA.

‘Jamokes’

I grew up somewhere too, guys.

THE SHARK SHALL RISE AGAIN!

How do you beat the Warriors? You beat ‘em with hustle, heart, and using your head. You throw good, crisp bounce passes. You find the open man. You hit your set shots. You box out underneath. You move the runner along into scoring position with less than two outs. You hit your free throws. You eat your vegetables. You…