“And that, grandson, was the last time I ever debated the merits of Keynesian and Austrian economics with someone at a hockey game.”

Well the 49ers could use a good receiver, and we all know that Chip Kelly prefers Whites.

When Rovell helps me get a goddamn 4.9-star-rated Roomba for $399, I’ll start following him.

HE’S JUST LIKE OBUMMER EVEN HIS ENDORSERS CAN ONLY RUN US IN CIRCLES WHILE THEY VEER LEFT.

I want my basketball teams to end their wins the same way I’ll end my life - dribbling until the clock runs out.

Fun fact: in high school, Marshall Koehn was out on his family’s farm when he spotted a coyote peering out into a field full of grazing cattle. Marshall, from the other end of the large field, started at a full sprint at the exact same time as the coyote did, both racing toward a particularly weak calf that had…

Much like Kobe’s teammates, she never had a shot.

Talking shit about analytics in basketball is no big deal, but talking shit about analytics in baseball means all out WAR.

The least surprising aspect of this video is that a UF student was rejected by Vanderbilt.

I have many workdays where I don’t feel like building Excel models, so I’ll write something. Do any of you ever not feel like writing something and build Excel models instead?

I have a “2:30 tip” joke but it really works better out loud. :(

LOL JK OVERPAID HAIRPIECE SHILLING FOR MILLIONAIREZZZ

Not for nothing, but taken as a % of revenue, Goodell’s salary is below the median level when compared to public companies. His $34.1MM total comp is 0.26% of the NFL’s revenue of $13 billion.

Came for this gif. Did not leave disappointed.

When you've had the kind of drought the Skins have had, there comes a time that even your Cousins start to look pretty good.

As someone whose office bathroom has an odd number of urinals, I can tell you that middle relievers should all be summarily executed.

[Drake immediately buys Jordan Kilganon hat, jersey, pants, shoes]

Much like 50, Lamar probably has max two quarters of basketball left in him.

Just awful. I remember reading that SI piece when it came out and that family seemed so loving and caring.