TODAY I LEARNED: drug dealers accept foodstamps

I have two kids. I love my kids.

Maybe they could make up at a bar and Patrick can offer to buy Russell and his crew a round. Not a second round, though.

I heard Daryl Morey was offered DeMarcus Cousins for Clint Capela straight up and Morey actually hung up and called back on FaceTime just so he could laugh in Vlade’s face.

“Slave cabin? Um, I think you mean On-Premise Worker Habitat.”

If Mark Davis doesn’t want fans to be overwhelmed at the new stadium, he should insist on a simple bowl design.

There are a Brazilion things wrong with this.

He actually pitched for the Astros.

Because when you need your craniorectalectomy, we’ll help you pay for it.

Hey, feel free to cough up half a million dollars when you get cancer. Personal responsibility and all that.

You guys are just jealous that he’s been online talking to hot babes all day.