Skinny Pete was 20?

No.

Oh, snape!

I love this movie. A lot. But it _meanders_ like a son of a bitch. Not always to its benefit.

Wait, that's what "shipping" means?

Huh, you’re absolutely right. A buddy comedy would be the perfect fit with Marvel quppiness.

Okay, let’s say you adjust. And let’s say you adjust such that the processed food is slightly more “healthy” on _every_ metric (fat, carbs, cholesterol, sugars, calories, vitamins, protein, ...), at the cost of making the processed food somewhat less palatable.

Wait, a _speculative_ article about KFC’s next bland beige pile of crap in a bowl?

I’m really intrigued as to how it came about that you _had_ to ask that question.

It’s so weird how these arguments in favor of “whole” foods so often boil down to the nutritional composition of the end product

Cooking food is some off the most complex chemical processing around. It often renders the base ingredients into something completely unrecognizable.

Ha,nice. I recall Valhalla doing crazy cheap Pearl and Lone Star, though I didn’t visit much until the early 2000's (after I graduated), which was probably a different era in Shiner distribution.

Shiner was the beer I cut my teeth on, in college in Houston in the mid/late 90s. Just enough flavor to be interesting, but it drinks easy enough to get shitfaced on no problem.

Yet you can’t eat food not prepared by your own hand, as it makes you sick for 24 hours.

No need to hold a competition, it would be a complete bloodbath. Flour tortilla would slay all comers, and then feast on their entrails.

You sure it isn't just that you overeat when posed with food that actually tastes good, as opposed to your sadly oil-free home cooking?

“they still glare at you like you’re wiping boogers on their bar...”

Only one candidate is actively talking about crystal healing power.

Ha, this is hilarious. Have you ever been to NYC? These cars would never, ever move — because pedestrians would be constantly crossing against signals in front of them.

No they don't.