please apologize for this

“He must complete a series of tasks with increasing levels of physical exertion, and he must be determined to be symptom free after each task.”

They missed a really big one.

Could those shoulders BE any more chiseled!?

Candler Felts is not to be mistaken for Chandler Delts, my Tumblr dedicated to Matthew Perry’s shoulder.

I was a stay-at-home dad for the first year. My wife told me I’d be the one who had to sleep train the kid because her Cajun mom instincts ABSOLUTELY wouldn’t let her leave a crying child alone. When it came time for a nap, I’d make some coffee, grab a book and the baby monitor and head for the backyard. I’d turn the…

This. A thousand times this. Would love to have won last year, but this is the one that I really wish we had won.

Mets beat the Yankees in the 2000 World Series. Not even close.

Actually, it’s Anakin’s lightsaber.

I could sure use a Bucks9000 bonus.

In a statistical oddity, his WAR has been 2.0 every season for the last 70 years.

Look at its shadow. And compare it to the dude’s shadow in the video. Also, where is the camera angle from said dude?

Show of hands, who read that as eats his own shit at a first glance?

I’d rather be shot out of a cannon into a brick wall than see the Penguins win a face-off, let alone score a goal, let alone win a game, or God almighty forbid they win the Stanley Cup. Go Sharks.

Hang on, hang on, hang on... Wait...

Oh, so when La Russa squeezes into a booth unannounced, he’s “defending the truth.” But when I do it, I’m “drunk” and “not welcome in this IHOP anymore.”

Billy Joel used to do something similar to people’s living rooms until he got his license revoked.

NCAA Once Again Bans Fun.

Good, that band sucked.

Listen, I’m as anti-NCAA as any typical Deadspin lunatic, but you need to respect some basic tenants of decency. In no canonical universe would Tony Stark use that old ass phone.