I convinced my wife to enter our reception to Mr. Perfect’s theme song. She would not let me spit out a piece of gum and slap it away while doing so.

“Snake in the bag” is also an apt descriptor for most of Jake Roberts’s adult life.

Meh - I’ve seen better.

This happened because he took his manager’s advice.

Lopez has 789 major league games to his credit, totalling only 514 IP.

There’s someone after my heart. Also, World Of Motion was way better than Test Track (BRING IT)!

You wanna know how to succeed in life? Quit giving people the satisfaction of your reaction. Treat everyone you meet with kindness no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Be the bigger person. People are going to be assholes and there is not one single solitary thing you can do about it except for controlling yourself…

I would beg the Sorting Hat to put me in Tellerpenn

Don’t Lucas yourself, J.K.!

This is probably the only instance people would enjoy seeing a Colon in its Natural state.

The editing was okay, but I found it really distracting the way they would switch back-and-forth from slow-motion to regular speed during Colon’s run around the bases.

You, sir, are amazing. And you make my accomplishments feel like they are not, now.

My wife is super chill and let me handle the entrance music to the reception. We walked in to the shattering glass and music of none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin. My groomsmen and their bridesmaids walked into Real American, the…

I said Sidious killed Plagueis. He killed him. Killed. As in “to kill”. Like, there was killing

Kid: Holy shit, that ball boy might have just saved my life!

You both married keepers.

Finally coming to terms with your mortality? As someone a bit older, all I have to say is

You mean, every ump who ejects someone for arguing balls and strikes during his teammates’ at bat, from the dugout, deserves an F U.

reminded me a little of this

I feel so bad for this guy but I can't stop laughing.